Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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