sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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