I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
