I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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