the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
