If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
as a side note pls kill me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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