I cut my penus on the lid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
