He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize