that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sext me about skeletons
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
