Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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