yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
