You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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