I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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