You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
