so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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