My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
