david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
