Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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