who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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