quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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