And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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