Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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