OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
