I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
