and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
