I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
