i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
