In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
