I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
