Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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