You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
