they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
