I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
