I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
