she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
