He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
