this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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