Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You ate ashes out of my bong
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
