I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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