I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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