I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
