I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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