Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
