We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
And then he peed in my hair
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