how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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