Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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