I need help removing her.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
