it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
