Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
