when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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