dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
