GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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