Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
