shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
