Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize