You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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