So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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