Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
