sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am naked and annoyed.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
