Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't motorboat a personality
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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