yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
