A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
