New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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